FANHOOD!

WELCOME SPORTSFAN TO AN ALL NEW SEASON OF SPORTS. WE HAVE LESS THAN TWO FULL WEEKS UNTIL THE UTAH-MICHIGAN GAME! I AM EXPECTING AN EXCITING GAME WITH SO MUCH RIDING ON EACH GAME FOR THE UTES. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THE TRASH TALKING HAS ALREADY STARTED. MICHIGAN NEEDS TO NOT STUMBLE OUT OF THE GATES WITH NEW COACH RICH RODRIGUEZ AND THE UTES NEED TO HAVE A PERFECT SEASON IF THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO THE BCS GAME. HEY, DID I MENTION THEY WERE THE FIRST NON-BCS TEAM TO MAKE IT TO A BCS GAME? WELL THEY WERE! SAY WHAT YOU WILL BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US! LET ME TELL YOU I HAVE ALREADY HEARD THAT IF UTAH BEATS MICHIGAN," ITS A REBUILDING YEAR". AND IF UTAH LOSES,"THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO PLAY ON OUR FIELD". WELL, WHAT EVER HAPPENS WILL HAPPEN AND I HAVE ALREADY MADE MY LUNCH BETS. SOOOOO, WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A SENSITIVE ISSUE. IT'S NOT MACHISMO, IT'S NOT SOMEONES MANHOOD, IT'S SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT..IT'S YOUR FANHOOD! I AM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO BREAK DOWN THE TYPE OF FANS AND WHAT IS REQUIRED FOR EACH LEVEL. BE PREPARED, IT'S NOT FOR THE SQUIMISH!

THE DIE HARD FAN

A DIE HARD FAN NEVER MISSES A GAME, HE IS EITHER AT THE GAME OR HE WATCHES ANYWAY POSSIBLE. WITH MY BELOVED UTES, THIS IS MY CATEGORY. I HAVE BEEN IN ATTENDANCE FOR ALL BUT ONE HOME GAME IN THE LAST 8+ YEARS AND STILL THEN I CAUGHT IT ON TV IN THE SPORTSBOOK. I PLAN MY LIFE AROUND THE FALL SCHEDULE AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THIS IS TRUE. FAMILY PICTURES ON A SATURDAY IN THE FALL?? BETTER BE A BYE WEEK! NEED GROCERIES? KIDS GOT TO GO TO THE DOCTORS? BIRTHDAY PARTIES? WEDDINGS? ANNIVERSARIES?? NOT DURING A GAME! I HAVE DRIVEN HUNDREDS OF MILES FARTHER ON A TRIP HOME JUST TO GET INTO RADIO RANGE! YOU MAY SAY, BUT ADAM, MY TEAM PLAYS WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY. WELL, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF ESPN'S FLEXPASS? OR INTERNET RADIO? THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR THIS LEVEL OF FANHOOD. IF YOU WANT TO GET INTO THIS CATEGORY, YOU HAVE TO BE DEDICATED AND HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE. PREFERABLY ONE THAT EITHER KNOWS FOOTBALL AND SITS NEXT TO YOU OR ONE THAT UNDERSTANDS AND GOES SHOPPING BY HERSELF.

THE AVID FAN

THE AVID FAN IS SIMILAR TO THE DIE HARD BUT BECAUSE OF DISTANCE AND MONEY HE CAN'T MAKE LIVE GAMES. THANKS TO TO RAVE REVIEWS OF THE SUNDAY TICKET FROM LEE,THIS IS WHERE MY PATS FALL. UTAHNS ARE IN A UNIQUE SITUATION WITH HAVING NO PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM. WE ARE A TRUE MELTING POT OF FANS HERE. EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE TRIED TO FORCE FEED US THE BRONCOS AND FORTY-NINERS, I HAVE SEEN FANS FROM ALL THE NFL TEAMS AROUND. MOST OF THE PATRIOT GAMES WERE TELEVISED LAST YEAR AS THEY WENT UNDEFEATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON. THE ONE GAME I COULDN'T GET ON TV I ORDERED THRU THE INTERNET RADIO (THANKS KOLBY). WITH THE LOSS OF THE SUPERBOWL I KNEW I WOULDN'T BE SO LUCKY THIS YEAR. SO I TOOK LEE'S ADVICE AND ORDERED THE NFL SUNDAY TICKET. I HOPE THERE AREN'T ANY PLANS INVOLVING MY ATTENDANCE FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. EVERY WEEKEND LOOKS BOOKED UNLESS YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AND WATCH THE GAME. CALL ME.. WE WILL MAKE NACHOS OR SOMETHING....

THE FAN

THE FAN IS THE TYPE OF GUY THAT WILL WATCH A TEAM IF THEY ARE ON WHILE HE IS SURFING. HE DOESN'T GO OUT OF HIS WAY TO LIVE HIS LIFE FOR THESE TEAMS BUT HE ENJOYS WATCHING WHEN THEY ARE ON. HE MAKES SURE TO WATCH ALL THE PLAYOFF GAMES AND MAKES STUPID SIDE BETS WITH HIS BUDDIES EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS HE CAN LOSE. THIS IS HOW I FAIR WITH THE CELTICS. I USED TO BE A BIG FAN WHEN BIRD,PARRISH, AND MCHALE WERE PLAYING BUT THOSE DAYS ARE GONE. WHEN LARRY BIRD RETIRED, THE LEAGUE LOST ITS BEST WHITE PLAYER. NO ONE HAS STEPPED UP TO FILL HIS SHOES. NO ONE WILL EVER BEAT BILL RUSSEL'S HISTORIC 13 CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS! THE NEW CELTICS SHOW PROMISE, LETS SEE IF THEY CAN KEEP IT GOING.

THE CASUAL FAN

THE CASUAL FAN IS THE GUY WHO WATCHES THESE GAMES WHEN THERE ISN'T MUCH ELSE ON. ESPN IS USUALLY DOING RERUNS OF THE NATIONAL SPELLING BEE AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR. THIS FAN WATCHES MOSTLY AFTER THE SEASON IS OVER AND GETS INTERESTED BY POST SEASON PLAY. THE SOX FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY FOR ME. I HAVE ESPN ALL AROUND ME AND BASEBALL PLAYS LIKE 9,000 GAMES A SEASON SO I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A GNAT DURING SUMMER. COME OCTOBER, IF MY BOYS ARE THERE I WILL MAKE A STUPID BET BASED ON MINIMAL KNOWLEDGE.

THE HATER

THERE IS A HATER IN ALL OF US. IT SUCKS WHEN YOU ARE HATING ON ONE OF MY TEAMS BUT I UNDERSTAND. ITS A NATURAL FEELING. ANYONE WHO HAS EVERY MET ME KNOWS I HATE THESE GUYS. NOT ONLY HATE BUT DISPISE, WELL NOT ONLY DISPISE BUT BUT I WOULDN'T CROSS THE STREET TO PEE ON ONE IF HE WERE ON FIRE. THEY BUG ME A LITTLE, NOT SO MUCH THE TEAM, I AM OK WITH THEM EXISTING BUT THEIR FANS SUCK. THEY ARE THE MOST COCKY, ARROGANT, PIECES OF GARBAGE IN THE WORLD. THEY GET A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ON A DEFAULT AND THEY THINK WE NEED TO WORSHIP THEM...AAAGH I COULD GO ON ALL NIGHT. JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND FLING DOG CRAP AT THE NEXT ONE YOU SEE AND ALL WILL BE RIGHT WITH THE WORLD...OH ON A SIDE NOTE: I GOT THIS IMAGE AS A SPOOF BECAUSE A BYU RUNNER ATTACKED SOMEONE WITH A MOP AND IS NOW FACING ASSAULT CHARGES...A MOP..HA HA HA...PROBABLY FROM HIS NIGHT JOB...THE ONE AFTER WORKING AT MCDONALD'S...CAN I GET A BIG MAC PLEASE...HA HA HA.....................

FAIR WEATHER FANS

THESE ARE THE WORST KIND OF FANS AND I WILL DEDICATE A WHOLE POST IN SEPTEMBER IN: THINGS THAT ANNOY ME.

SO AMERICA, WHAT CATEGORY DO YOU FALL INTO? I BET THERE IS A LITTLE OF ALL THESE IN EVERYONE. THE NEXT TIME SOMEBODY QUESTIONS YOUR FANHOOD...PAY THEM FOR THE PIZZA AND TELL THEM TO GET LOST.....

UNTIL NEXT POST-GO UTES!